August 1, 2010
A message from Roy Stillwell,
CEO, Putrid.com
Dear Loyal Putrid.com Bastards,
I was on Craigslist looking for whores, and I want to know, who the
fuck got rid of the whore section?
I've been all over that site looking for whores, or transexuals or even
males who kind of look like girsl but not really. I CAN'T FIND THE FUCKING WHORE SECTION ON
CRAIGSLIST. WHERE THE FUCK IS IT???!?!??!?!?
So, now I am forced to email pictures of my cock to the want ads and
people selling bookshelves and lawn mowers.
Nice fucking going Craig, you cock blocking faggot.
Fuck you.
Roy Stillwell
CEO
Putrid.com
July 16, 2010
A message from Roy Stillwell,
CEO, Putrid.com
Dear Loyal Putrid.com Bastards,
I was looking at a site called Face Book and Twitter today, and here
are some surprising facts.
If you have a Face Book or Twitter account, you:
- You Are gay
- You Have AIDS
- You like to fondle
children and goats
- You are sexually
aroused by old men
- You do not have any
friends
- You are probably ugly
- Nobody really cares
about your opinions
- Nobody really wants
to read your updates
- Your mother is a
whore, and so is your father
- Your dog hates you
I used the scientific method on
this study, so don't send me your gay, angry email.
On another topic, you need to send me money. Sending me money
will free your sould, so you can get into heaven.
If you don't send me money, you and your family WILL ALL LIVE AN
ETERNITY IN HELL. I am not kidding.
Keep up the great work.
Roy Stillwell
CEO
Putrid.com
June 16, 2010
A message from Roy Stillwell,
CEO, Putrid.com
Dear Loyal Putrid.com Bastards,
It occurs to me that this little temporaty site update thing is like a
blog sort of.
NO it is NOT.
Blogs are for fags and Mexicans. Also, if you have a Blog, you
were molested when you were 8 years old. This is a fact.
I want to share some relvelations I've had while jerking off in line at
the unemployement office.
First, apparently, you are not supposed to jerk off while in line at
the employment office.
Second, when jerking off while in line at the unemployment office, you
should not call everyone in line "whores, cock suckers, jizz swallowers
etc." and then ask them to "check out my nuts".
Last, spurting jizz all over your Unemployment Case Worker at the EDD
office and getting cum all over your paperwork (I though this could be
used to identigy my case and paperwork...I'm always losing
papers...right??? Fuck you.) and saying "you look like a porn
star...if they had a far old one with a lazy eye and bad acne" will NOT
make your EDD extension "priority one", which is what I was led to
believe.
Oh, one more thing, at this very moment, I Am Jerking Off
One more thing. I do not know where the fucking spell checker
button thingies is.
Ah fuck,
Roy Stillwell
CEO
Putrid.com
June 8, 2010
A message from Roy Stillwell,
CEO, Putrid.com
Dear Loyal Putrid.com Bastards,
I do a lot of thinking these days, mostly when I run out of gin.
Here are some recent thoughts.
- Why are kids today
so faggy?
- Why do I care about
a faggy kids Twitter gay homo account?
- Why do I get dirty
looks when jerking off at Toys R Us?
- Why do ugly chicks
like their picture taken? Stop it. Yuck
- Why do ugly chicks
post their ugly pictures on the internets?
- Why are their so
many ugly chicks on the internets?
- Why won't more ugly
chicks on the internets swallow on a first date?
- Why can't i get a
job at Toys R Us?
Ah fuck,
Roy Stillwell
CEO
Putrid.com
June 5, 2010
A message from Roy Stillwell,
CEO, Putrid.com
Dear Loyal Putrid.com Bastards,
My goodness. Why thank
you for visiting Putrid.com which is an internets that has been up
since 1995. Actually 1879 is when Putrid.com first went online,
but back then, there were no Mexican on the internets. Now there
are 5 I believe...if you include that guy George Lopez, who I do NOT
think is funny.
It will take some time for the
new Putrid.com team to get this here new site up, but it will be worth
it.
Before the new, very high end
news magazine is launched, let me share some thoughts with you.
- If you like High School Muscial, you are gay gay gay
- If you are on Face Book, you are probably sucking cock at this
very moment
- If you like the sho Glee, you already have AIDS. Don't
bother geting tested. You have the AIDS.
Thanks very much for all the
money and support you have given me. And yes, I am now dating Ter
Patrick. It is true. We do sexy things together.
I look forward to
providing you with only the best news and editorials soon here in this
year of 2010.
Ah fuck,
Roy Stillwell
CEO
Putrid.com
Putrid.com is herby an
internets and will always be haveing the sexies on anus and vaginas.
This is the bests interents on all of the webistes and the
worlkds. This s is a facts.
Americans bitchtes are filthies blonds skankls.
Workinlings for the Roy Stillwell, I'm learnings the htnmls and other s
thingks and technologes for an internets that goes very fasts.]
AS the new CTO of Putrid.com, I prominsings to gets the fuckings
websites up and get the informations ours to all of your peoples,
inculdings American Blonds boitches with nice asses.
Stay tunees for more Putrid.com internets and all kindsl of things and
news shows and anals.
Fodnlings,
Efendi Maregh
CTO
Putrid.com