stop global warming

sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

December 15, 2011

Hello again. I just wanted to vent a little about them bitches in Human Resources.

As it turns, I've been "caught" (what is this, the god damn McCarthy era???...forgive me lord) masturbating in my cube while downloading gay porn of Brazilian boys engaged in "inappropriate" actives during normal business hours.

First of all, what business is it of HR to lecture me on office etiquette? Christ! Most of them just walk around showing off their nice big ethnic assess and are taunting TAUNTING TAUNTING ME.

Now I don't have to tell you that jerking off at the office in my cube while downloading gay porn featuring sweaty South American boys is WELL within MY rights as a citizen of this here US of A. I'm pretty sure of this.

After all, I always make sure I shoot my creamy jizz into my manager's coffee cup in order to prevent the precious love liquor from dripping onto the office carpet. Shouldn't the the HR CUNTS appreciate this courtesy??? Shit!

Something else that has been troubling me is the politically correct people in Washington and all their talk about SPECIAL FORCES in Afganistan and Iran. Shit. We are at war and we are going to send in SPECIAL PEOPLE??? What, the fucking Jerry's Kids Brigade??? Maybe the Corky Corps??? I don't have anything against stupid, intellectually worthless drooling moronic retards, but I don't think I want my national security riding on you?

Something else that comes to mind is that the HR NAZIs have no rights as far as my taking a dump in the gimp stall with my friends while watching episodes of Murphy Brown (the whore / skank ). Anyway, don't YOU think HR needs to stay off my case????

Oh yeah, happy Hanukkah and happy days for Christ and the LORD and Allah and them chink Buddas and things and Hindus and guys. I'm drunk.

sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

December 14, 2011


Some people in this here US of A think I'm some sort of a racist and not very tolerant of "diversity" and "new ideas" and "things". Well I;m going to set the record straight today, and I'll probably shock some of you.

You see, I actually admire the Work of Kam Fong. You may not have heard of him, but Kam Fong worked with Jack Lord and the gang from Hawaii Five 0. And let me tell you, this Kam Fong is a real pistol! Some time he even gives Magaret some serious shit...but not like Zulu..because I think Zulu was part black, and we all know, that spells t r o u b l e with very big letters.

Kam Fong is a mother fucking bad ass.

Let me start off by saying that Mr. Kam Fong is a very talented actor. He can play a completely different oriental chinaman (Kam Fong AS Chin Ho Kelly, his character's name in Five 0). These chinks are something, first they build us a railroad, sell us Calgon and give us Kung Fu and all them oriental noodles (Top Ramen and Cup O Noodles) and next there taking over Hollywood. Remember that chink cartoon called Mulan? Well, not only was it a chink cartoon (about chinamen and things in China) but they even ate rice and used those rice eating sticks! God bless these little yellow chinks.

Did you know they like rice?  Its true!


sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

December 12, 2011

As the editor of a major online magazine, I've seen a lot in this life, and I'm no sissy or complainer by any means, but I gotta say, I'm not sure that hooker I was with last night was ALL woman; if you know what I mean.

I picked this gal up in East Oakland. You no the spot. Whores. Anywho, once we get to my mother', my house, she introduces herself. Turns out her name is Gus.

Well, Gus not only has hands as long as a damn surf board, but speaks in a deep gravely voice. That's cool I'm thinking. After all, Lauren Bacal had a raspy voice....right?

But Gus also has the muscular development of a Ukrainian coal miner (not to mention the body hair). Well, I figured it was just one of them athletic chicks who need some Nair......right?

Well, Gus is about 6'3 and is wearing a strange dress because I is hiding her womanly hips. When we get down to the deed, she's got a funny looking girl thing that almost looks like a cock and nuts. Now, I'm the first all man kind of man that would say that this would be great if it were Barnaby Jones, bit it ain't. And that is totally straight and cool....right?

Anyhoo, Gus and I go at it, and her girl thing cock keeps slipping into my anus. Well, I mean, there is nothing wrong with that sort of receptive anal intercourse with a prostitute.....right? I mean, she is just a little different.

well, after a while, she blows a huge load of jizz all over me. But I sweat it was probably not real jizz, just some sort of yogurt or something. Right??? I mean, She was a woman and all....right???? Right guys??? Fuck you.

sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

December 10, 2011  

Well Fuckers, it looks like we all had a great turkey and potatoes and gravy and anal sex with minors day, and I'm sure we are all looking forward to a nice Happy Christmas and New Years.  I think we should take time out and reflect on the year.  I'm going to use bullet points, because that is what I use when I am at the office and being all corporate...and shit.

sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

August 1, 2011   

Well Fuckers, I know people are all worried about their jobs, and houses, and money, and internets, and porn, and gay lovers they keep quietly at that little hotel at 14th and Broadway that I definitely know nothing about because I have never even been there.

Well, let me tell YOU how we can solve all this economical problems and debt and things. 

We all know that war helps the economy.  When we blowed up Greneda, we were all rich with blonde strippers with big tits and cocaine all over their tits and all kinds of money to pay for nice clothes to go on the strippers and their big tits.

What I propose is a full scale war with Cybertron.

Why do you ask?

First, Megatron is dead, for now.  So is Starscream (fucking gay that a little pansy kid can kill him.   Fuck that.  Starscream is fucking imortal.  I hate you Michael Bay).  Shockwave is dead.  So is Soundwave.  So is a whole bunch of other decelpticons including the dweller (not the driller, watch season 4, G1 you fucking illilterate Mexicans.)

A war with Cybertron will return the US of A to a genuine rich country that does not tolerate foreigners or homosexuals any more and make us a great place to raise a family of adopted VC lady boys.

Thank you for reading.

No I will not use a speall checker.  I am drunkss and don't have the time.

Fuck you.

Sorry to be to rude.  I am a bit constiupated.

Fuck you.



sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

July 15, 2011   

Well Fuckers, I sure knew the real estate market was pretty fucked, but I had no idea that it was fucked all over the world.  While Browsing a site for young Thai whores, it linked me over to Thai real estate.  Looks like it is fucked all over.  Fuck.


Roy is how you stay in the know, and also learn about whores and drugs and things.  Also porn.  I am not a pervert.  Fuck you.

sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

May 27, 2011

Well, I am hearing from all these religious types on the internets that is is Judgement Day on May 21.  What a load of exrement.  Why do I say that?  Well for one, it is a fancy way of saying shit.  And 2, I KNOW when Judgement Day is, and acording to a Cyberdyne T-800 who once used to get liquered up at my favorite bar (NOT a gay bar) Judgement Day is in the future and has all kinds of interents and computers, but there is not enought internets for Judgement Day.  So those people talking about May 21 as Judgement Day don't know jack about internets, or compuetes or T-800s.  Fuckers.

sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

April 27, 2011

Why Hello fans of

You will note that going forward, I am going to be much more profesional and polished.  Heck, I may even use the spell checker every once in a while?

Why do you ask, am I going to be such a swell fella?

Well, it seems that the dirty jew shit stains...oh, excuse me, certain senior managemet at the FCC have stated in a letter that I am in violation of certain codes pertaining to kids accessing this site.  That's right, dirty little 12 year old whores viewing my site and maybe even calling me for phone sex.  Skanks.

Anywhoo, in the interim, I have to play it safe.  I do not want to piss of the nigger loving jew faggots and lose my internets.

Oh, also, it occurs to me that I should start a news page, since I am a newspaper man.

Clicking below will give you the news.

Have fabulous day.

Just kidding.  I said fabulous because I know the nigger loving jew faggots are watching me.

I really meant to say, ah fuck, have another drink.

Roy Stillwell

sexy roy stillwell is the ceo of

Some Helpful ideas from Roy.

Hi everyone.  I want to start off with a review of my stools for the week. 

Yesterday, I kid you not, I had something that looked EXACTLY like  Geddy Lee.  I', not kidding.  I tried to take a picture but my Polaroid 1 steff fell in the shitter, and made the  Geddy Lee   stool look more like Corky from Life Goes on.  (A great comedy show by the way).

Anyhoo, if I can produce a Neil Peart stool I will take pictures, and try to create the enire band.

A New TV update.

So apparently, there is a new show called Law and Order, Special Victims UNit.  I want to know, why would someone target retards and other "special people for crimes".  They usually do not look very hot, and they don't hav money because they do not have jobs.  Can someone explain that to me?  I would like to understant this.

One more thing.  When seeing hookers, not that I would know anything about this, do NOT let them spend the night.  If you do, things can end up missing.  Lots of things like money and stereos and that stuff.  Don't ask me how I know.  I just know.

Oh, ok, security guards waling around the office during the work day.  We all hate you.  Tip:  Having your walkie talkie on 11 only makes us want you dead even sooner.  Fucking lard ass retard.  Yeah, we get you have a fucking radio.   So do little kids.  Too bad watching "Cops" will not make you a cop.  You suck.


Roy Stillwell

(And Loquichtia, I really want my money, TV, blender and stereo back.)


medial research on obesity

March 16, 2011

Well, happy New Year.  I think what is going on in Japan is a crock of shit.

All that destruction and not ONE single good shot of Godzilla.  Our media is fucking worthless people.

Now, onto more pressing matters.  I guess you can see from below, that CraigsList Politcal Forum is not the bext place in the world to score.   What a waste of time.

sfo Japanese helping one another, no looting, no < commie__bastard > 03/15/11 22:51  
      : . . because they do not have blacks or jews? § < StraightCamp > 03/15/11 22:52  
      : . . : . . wow. remarkable insight. PhD candidate? § < commie__bastard > 03/15/11 22:52  
      : . . : . . : . . at white sheets university. § < Dendroc > 03/15/11 22:53  
      : . . : . . : . . thanks, now maybe we can have sex?  Like anal sex?  I bet you do.  Pig. § < StraightCamp > 03/15/11 22:53  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . Lose your virginity somewhere else § < commie__bastard > 03/15/11 22:54  
      : . . : . . and muslims § < Filmchick2006 > 03/15/11 23:04  
      : . . : . . : . . ah yes, good one. say, are you hot looking?  Do you have low seldf esteem like your mother?  You cow. < StraightCamp > 03/15/11 23:05  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . I am not a lib kkthx § < Filmchick2006 > 03/15/11 23:05  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . so you are hot? can we please have sex now? § < StraightCamp > 03/15/11 23:06  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Nope Please leave me alone kkthx § < Filmchick2006 > 03/15/11 23:07  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . What if I pay you? I am serious.  You fat skank< StraightCamp > 03/15/11 23:09  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I am reporting you to support you are terrible § < Filmchick2006 > 03/15/11 23:11  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . i'm not a lib wither, and i expect sex now.  You Fucking whore.  Call me now.  Where does Your mother live?> § < StraightCamp > 03/15/11 23:16  

Below was the quickes way in the world to have a HotMail account deleted.

From: Roy Stillwell []
Sent: Saturday, June 01, 2002 10:47 PM
Subject: Helping my pets and other animals

Dear PETA,

I love animals very much, and am hoping that you can help me "share the love" as it were.

Generally, I prefer anal sex with monkeys and gophers, but I have been considering including dogs and bleeding cats into the mix. (The bleeding cats are fun because they remind me of my sister's gaping wounded cunt. She is such a stupid bitch.)

Anywho, where can I find bleeding cats? I've tried to make them on my own with a shovel and heavy rock or brick, but I'm not crazy about getting the blood all over my walls / carpets etc. Are there bleeding cat stores in China Town? Should I simply wait near unsafe roads and hope to scrape one off an SUV grill late at night?

Thanks for your help. I look forward to PETA assisting me in helping the plight of animals.


Roy Stilwell

Oh, here is a cartoon.  I came up with this idea.  Some fag ripped me off. comic is for only non gays

December 6, 2010

one sexy fucker

Roy Stillwel  Astrologer
This are my readings for the month of December or so.  If you don't like your sign, tough shit.  Fucking bitches.  Just go fuck yourselves.

Jan 21-Feb 19
Feb 20-Mar 20
Mar 21-Apr 20
Apr 21-May 20
May 21-June21

This is your month!  Well no...just kidding.  Your ass will hurt a lot because you just started getting into hamsters.

This is a great time for you hot Pisces chicks to Lez out! You must let me watch or you will have very bad cramps.

Aries.  That's the name of a sucky car by Chrysler.  I guess this means that your a fucking idiot.  Huh?

You are open minded and opinionated.  Then again, maybe you're just bisexual and a big mouth.

Go into your bosses office and bookmark ALL fetish sites and web sites (including  He is going to have a big wig in from town, and we want his true colors to shine when he does that internet demo.

Cancers are precocious, thoughtful and daring.  They are also named after a terminal illness.  I guess this means that life is really going to suck for you.

July 23-Aug 22
Aug 23-Sept 22
Sep 23-Oct 22
Oct 23-Nov 22
Nov 23-Dec 21
Dec 22-Jan 20
You're gay. 

Virgos are virtuous and nurturing.  They also have a high probability of getting diseases from crack whores.

Libra's are generally well adjusted individuals who take it in the ass without complaining too much.

Scorpios are named after the serial killer from "Dirty Harry".  Therefore, they are probably pretty cool.  I'm not messing with Scorpios.  Now Serpico, that piece of shit Al Pacino movie, is another fucking story.

You are decisive and assertive.  Then again, maybe you're just a fucking pompous asshole.

This is a great month to have your mother thrown in an old folks home.


October 12, 2010

A message from Roy Stillwell, CEO,  -  Hot Internets Sex action on the internets!!!!

Dear Loyal Bastards,

Recently, I went into a chat room on AOL to try to get some ass.  This is what happened. 

The fuckers at AOL canceled my account a few minutes later. 

AOL Chat Room - Over 70 and Loving Barnaby Jones

RoyStil69 Hi there!
SexyKat7 UmmmDo I know you?
RoyStil69 Sure you do, I'm the one who is going to fuck your ass.
SexyKat7 ????!!!?? I'm gonig to call customer service and have your AOL account canceled you prick!!!
RoyStil69 What's your problem?
SexyKat7 What do you think!!!??
RoyStil69 I'm sorry, I'm a little new to this kind of chatting. Give me another chance...please?
SexyKat7 I don't know.
RoyStil69 Oh come on. I'll be a true gentleman.
SexyKat7 I'm not sure...
RoyStil69 Let me indorduce myself. My name is Roy. My, what a nice name you have Kat. How am I doing.
SexyKat7 Better.
RoyStil69 My it is a nice day. Look, I'm picking flowers for you!
SexyKat7 Smile.....
RoyStil69 Why look, I happen to have a bottle of nice old wine in my picnic basket and a rose for the pretty lady.
SexyKat7 blush.....
RoyStil69 Shall I poor you some wine miss?
SexyKat7 Oh all right. Thanks.
RoyStil69 Sure. Her you go. How is it?
SexyKat7 It is delisious thank you!
RoyStil69 Good. I put some tranquilizers in it so I can fuck you and then beat your head with this bottle you fucking whore.
SexyKat7 What?!?!?!?!?!!
RoyStil69 Then I'm gonig to ram my cock in your ass you worthless bitch You are stupid just like your mother.
SexyKat7 Why are you saying this garbage?
RoyStil69 I'm sorry...I though you got into that stuff. I'm confused.
SexyKat7 I don't believe you! Are you sick?
RoyStil69 Gosh no, I just get so carried away when I talk to a sexy woman.
SexyKat7 ..
RoyStil69  Can we have sex now?
SexyKat7 ..

October 11, 2010

A message from Roy Stillwell, CEO,  -  Hot Resume Tips !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Loyal Bastards,

As you know, the economy is in trouble, and things seems to be getting worse.  Let me give you an example.

A whore I know used to charge 200 per hours, and this would include anal sex, and also cum facials, but I was not able to cum inside her mouth.  This was a few years ago.  Now, with the same whore, I can cum in her mouth, and she swallows, and I get to drink all her beer and have sex with her father.  All for 120 per hour.  I am not gay.  This does however illustrate that things are getting pretty lean.

So, you looking for a job huh?  Trying to get that interview at that great internets company?  Let me giude you.  Follow my tips, and the phone will not stop ringing!!!!!

First, pick a creative email address so they will know your creative.  How about ?  Oppps.  Your mother has that one?  No problem, how about ?  Yep.  That's the one you need.

Second, usually it is HR and staffing people (all gay and have AIDS) who read your resume, so GET THEIR ATTENTION.  Here is how.

Address your resume to:  HR CUNTS

Your resume should have plenty of typos and gaps in employment.  This will make you look mysterious and independent.


So, my resume tips worked?  Great.  Now, when the interviewer asks you things like, "so why did you leave your last job", you say:

"Fucking jew cunt company had too many niggers, spics and cunts in management."  This statement will show that YOU are in charge, and you understand the dynamics of a modern, diverse work force.

When you get your new job, drop me a line.

Ah Fuck,

Roy Stillwell

August 1, 2010

A message from Roy Stillwell, CEO,

Dear Loyal Bastards,

welcome to you filthy

I was on Craigslist looking for whores, and I want to know, who the fuck got rid of the whore section?

I've been all over that site looking for whores, or transexuals or even males who kind of look like girsl but not really.  I CAN'T FIND THE FUCKING WHORE SECTION ON CRAIGSLIST.  WHERE THE FUCK IS IT???!?!??!?!?

So, now I am forced to email pictures of my cock to the want ads and people selling bookshelves and lawn mowers. 

Nice fucking going Craig, you cock blocking faggot.

Fuck you.

Roy Stillwell

July 16, 2010

A message from Roy Stillwell, CEO,

Dear Loyal Bastards,

welcome to you filthy

I was looking at a site called Face Book and Twitter today, and here are some surprising facts.

If you have a Face Book or Twitter account, you:

I used the scientific method on this study, so don't send me your gay, angry email.

welcome to you filthy

On another topic, you need to send me money.  Sending me money will free your sould, so you can get into heaven.

If you don't send me money, you and your family WILL ALL LIVE AN ETERNITY IN HELL.  I am not kidding.

Keep up the great work.

Roy Stillwell

June 16, 2010

A message from Roy Stillwell, CEO,

Dear Loyal Bastards,

welcome to you filthy

It occurs to me that this little temporaty site update thing is like a blog sort of. 
NO it is NOT.
Blogs are for fags and Mexicans.  Also, if you have a Blog, you were molested when you were 8 years old.  This is a fact.

I want to share some relvelations I've had while jerking off in line at the unemployement office.

First, apparently, you are not supposed to jerk off while in line at the employment office.

Second, when jerking off while in line at the unemployment office, you should not call everyone in line "whores, cock suckers, jizz swallowers etc." and then ask them to "check out my nuts".

Last, spurting jizz all over your Unemployment Case Worker at the EDD office and getting cum all over your paperwork (I though this could be used to identigy my case and paperwork...I'm always losing papers...right???  Fuck you.) and saying "you look like a porn star...if they had a far old one with a lazy eye and bad acne" will NOT make your EDD extension "priority one", which is what I was led to believe.

Oh, one more thing, at this very moment, I Am Jerking Off

One more thing.  I do not know where the fucking spell checker button thingies is.

Ah fuck,

Roy Stillwell

June 8, 2010

A message from Roy Stillwell, CEO,

Dear Loyal Bastards,

I do a lot of thinking these days, mostly when I run out of gin.  Here are some recent thoughts.

Ah fuck,

Roy Stillwell

June 5, 2010

A message from Roy Stillwell, CEO,

Dear Loyal Bastards,

My goodness.  Why thank you for visiting which is an internets that has been up since 1995.  Actually 1879 is when first went online, but back then, there were no Mexican on the internets.  Now there are 5 I believe...if you include that guy George Lopez, who I do NOT think is funny.

It will take some time for the new team to get this here new site up, but it will be worth it.

Before the new, very high end news magazine is launched, let me share some thoughts with you.

Thanks very much for all the money and support you have given me.  And yes, I am now dating Ter Patrick.  It is true.  We do sexy things together.

I look  forward to providing you with only the best news and editorials soon here in this year of 2010.

Ah fuck,

Roy Stillwell

 is herby an internets and will always be haveing the sexies on anus and vaginas.

This is the bests interents on all of the webistes and the worlkds.  This s is a facts.

Americans bitchtes are filthies blonds skankls.

Workinlings for the Roy Stillwell, I'm learnings the htnmls and other s thingks and technologes for an internets that goes very fasts.]

AS the new CTO of, I prominsings to gets the fuckings websites up and get the informations ours to all of your peoples, inculdings American Blonds boitches with nice asses.

Stay tunees for more internets and all kindsl of things and news shows and anals.


Efendi Maregh